Every Sky Was Your Own Kind of Blue
I’ve been thinking for almost a week now how to respond to Natalee’s Blogger Challenge; Challenge Yourself: Be Thankful & Improve. When I first read her completely heartfelt and honest blog post I was not sure if I could write something that would honor the memory of Millie, someone I did not really know outside of Flickr ….. So I read her blog entry again. Then I sobbed through Delaney’s The Wind Beneath My Wings. The love they have for Millie is apparent in each pixel on those pages. I have experienced great loss like this, my brother David. I entirely understand the concept of keeping that person alive and their memory forever etched in your heart. For this reason I decided to take part in the challenge. A beautiful challenge. One that keeps on giving and paying it forward…. for Millie and most of all… if done right… for the world.
Thankful. I am thankful for Gopu…. someone who really gets me and showers me with more love than I was ever accustomed. I am thankful that each day has the most beautiful clouds I’d ever seen, surpassing the beauty from the previous day. I am thankful for every sweet or sour tear I have ever shed. I am thankful for every life lesson that I embraced. I am thankful for the sounds of kittens meowing and horses neighing. I am thankful for friends who have come and gone, and those who have stayed. Most of all I am thankful for my family, my biggest heroes….
Improving. Something devastating happened in my life about six months ago and after contemplating for many days I have realized that I built a wall, a thick coarse wall. I was deceived and betrayed by a “friend.” The foundation of my life seemed to become unstable and each step I took yielded in more ground that ultimately gave way. An avalanche of sorts I guess…..an avalanche of the soul. The cruelty that was displayed and the sick twisted distortions of the truth to garner attention boggled my wee head. I was overwhelmed and consumed with the thought that maybe everyone was not as forthcoming…. or honest. That I somehow lived an entire life with the naive notion that normal people acted, behaved, thought and shared the same social beliefs as me. Imagine if you will, that you found out one of your closest friends was a mass murderer, it would be akin to this. I panicked and wondered if my life and relationships were all based on what I perceived them to be (seeing that didn’t go too well! Lol) After the initial and usual reactions that one goes through after being lied to and betrayed, it would appear I pushed away all my friends and doubted everything and anything that anyone said to me, friends and strangers alike. I’ve even closed up from my family. I guess in an effort to keep myself safe from liars I just removed everyone from the equation. OMG! I threw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater!!!
Challenge: Recognizing the problem is half the battle right? I am going to make a conscious effort to incorporate my friends and family back into my life. I am going to love them for their differences and not assume they are my carbon copy when we are discussing something. I am going to work on trusting people. This is a lot to work on for this first challenge so before I find more faults with my behavior I am going to sign off ….. but…. I will become a better person thanks to Millie. <3
xxxooo
DUCHESS:
- TOP: The Plastik ~ Airen Dress {Crimson} w/ Lola Appliers!
- PANTS: The Plastik ~ Aeda Slacks Stark [Skinnies} ~ NEW
- HAIR: Ploom ~ Bed Head
- EYESHADOW: a.e.meth ~ Cheetah Liner & Eyeshadow
- LIP COLOR: Pink Fuel ~ Glossy Pout Lipsticks {pinks} ~ NEW
- BELLY PIERCING: Phoebe ~
- NECKLACE & HEAD JEWELS: Lassitude & ennui ~ Macabre Jewelry {Silver/Black}
- BRACELET: Zaara ~ Pata Silver Wire Bracelets {Clear}
- EARS: Illusions ~ Sprite Ears
- EAR ACCESSORIES: Illusions ~ Wrapped Cords ~ NEW
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8]
